Christmas is upon us.

Its been about 11 months since i last wrote on my blog.
I like the font this writes in...
I might blog regularly again. Or at least not once every 11 months.

Nothing has really happend in these past 11 months.
I now take singing lessons, i am going to see wicked next year and musicals fascinate me.
High School is pretty average. Not as bad as it was freshmen year. thank god. I pretty much still have the friends i had last year, even if the connections aren't as strong anymore.

Today is christmas eve.
Thats what the americans say.
For me its Heiligabend. ANd im getting ma presents in 2 hours baby :D
let the jealousy ensue.
I am getting a lot of makeup. I am becoming more and more interested in makeup. i like how there are so many colors and that you can transform yourself completely with it. Become a different person for a while...same as acting...
Oh well.
i love christmas.
i love the lights
i love the pine tree smell
i love the candles
and
i love the food :3


so.
i am going to end this since this is more rambeling than blogging.
Nobody reads this anymore. Thats okay though.

Merry Christmas everybody.
Frohe Weihnachten.

oh boy.

yesterday.
i saw.
RENT.

and it was FUCKING AMAZING.
i.
oh my god. every one of the cast was amazing.
their voices were unbelivably INCREDIBLE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
and the stage.
all they basically worked with were 4 chairs and two tables. which
was amazing.
i mean. wow. i am completely stunned.
i loved every single minute of it.
annnnddd anthony rapp and adam pascal from the ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST AND MOVIE.
were there. oh my goooddd.
you have no idea how fucking amazing it was.
and later on, we actually got to meet hte cast.
WE GOT TO MEET THE CAST.
mr.opela (my drama teacher) is friends with adam pascal's wife, and so she arranged that we got to meet them.
we were going down to the stage, and i was sitting in the 3rd row (1st and 2nd were free so we wouldnt like jump on the cast prolly. haha)
and then.
they came.
I WAS SHACKING I WAS SO EXCITED.
AND I COULDNT EVEN LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AT FIRST.
me and my friend were like 'SHOOT ME IN THE FACE LIKE RIGHT NOW PLEASE. THIS IS INSANE.'
they were all so nice and funny and down to earth and INCREDIBLE.
we got to ask them questions and they told us about their auditions and what to be like at an auditiopn and how they get into character and what its like to be in this show for so long (for anthony and adam) and if theyre sad that after this tour the show will be closed.
and.
i was.
amazing.
i was in fucking AWE.


and.
i got a tshirt.
and.
it was amazing.
and.

mr.opela got to hug adam and shake his hand adn the girls were like 'OPELA, CAN I HUG YOU AND SHAKE YOUR HAND?"
it was hilarious XD


and amazing.

:D
AHHHHH.
TOTALLY WORTH IT.

germany

was absolutely incredible. i had an amazing time and it was great to finally see my whole family again. and being there over the holidays made it even better. I was mostly with my aunt, my two cousins and my uncle. whcih probably sounds lame but my aunt is more like a friend than a aunt, shes absolutely crazy and i love her for that. and my cousins are adorable, though ole is a little devil sometimes. and my uncle is just....my uncle. random as he is. hhaha.

remember, how i said that i wanted to see this musical 'dance of the vampires' and i called my aunt and ask her if she could take me and she said how the tickets were sold out?

well.
turns out she was lying back then.

so the best christmas present i got was a ticket to dance of the vampires..
on christmas eve (24th in germany)
after i came form kerstin and dirk i went into my 'great aunt's' livingroom and there were my aunt Heiki, my godmother Sonni her husband Sven, my uncle Jens, Ole, and my parents.
so Heiki decides to give me her present. Me, expecting money and a book, open the envelope and i was like 'great. money.' and there it was a ticket for dance of the vampires.
i almost fell of my chair.
i was like 'WHAT THE HELL?' and was jumping up and down.

my mom told me that the day i told her i wanted to watch dance of the vampires with my aunt she immediantly called her and Heiki looked for tickets.
But they decided to tell me the tickets were sold out, as a surprised.
So when i called Heiki the nxt day she lied, though as she told me, it broke her heart to here my dissappointed voice,
and i mean i was fucking SAD. i almost CRIED. haha.
no joke.



but anyway.
THE MUSICAL WAS AMAZING.
WE HAD AMAZING SEATS.
AND GRAF KROLOCK WALKED RIGHT BY US.
if i sat on the end of the aisle i wouldvev grabbed his ass, cuz that man is HOT.
i had to retain myself to not jump over my uncle and run over to krolock.
but that would've been hard since my uncle is like 6'2.
anyway.
it was incrdible, because the actors ran through the audience and stuff.
and they could sing.
jesus.
:333

I LOVED IT. so much.



and it snowed in germany.
abd it was so cold
-shivers-
but thats ok :]


im glad i can go back in 6th months.

hmmmhhhh

i've noticed that my 'titles' in my blogs never actually make sense, theyre mostly just some random letters or 'hmh' or 'omg' or 'ouch' or whatever. oh well. that just shows my creativity.
or lack there of.



Do you dream, that the world will know your name . So tell me your name And do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?


I'm tired. and its sunday. i cant wait for this week to be over.
To go to germany.
and get away from here for two weeks. I dont know, i just feel like..
leaving this place for two weeks will clear things up.
because it all seems kind of foggy just now.
or i need to spread my wings a little.


I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside, said I wanna feelI wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm aliveJust to know I'm alive


and then.
another semester.
other people.
another beginning.
i'm glad i'll have classes with completely differnet people.
thats what i like about a big school, you hardly have a class with the same people.
new people, different, interesting people.
:] But thats also what i dislike, because yoyu have to start to make friends again.
People you know you can ask to be your partner when you have a partner assignment wont be there.
but... itll be okay.


I wanna live, just to see the day, when we all get alongI wanna scream, scream my song outloud For everyone to hear Do you believe, in the day that you were born, Tell me do you believe.


im going to go get ready to see a movie with my friend.
or we'll just walk around, even though all the stores are closed.
i miss my friends. the ones i hardly hang out with anymore..
it feels like im loosing them..
and that makes me sad.


And do you know That everyday is a first, For the rest of your life,And ohh.

:]

i saw will smith yesterday.
super exciting.
he was standing like 3 feet away from me.
stupid asian kid was in the way.
and and.
now my calfs are sore.
from always standing on my tip toes.
for like two hours.
but seeing him made me happy :3
yay.
go will smith.

hmhh.
i love this song. eyes on fire by blue foundation.
yeah thats right, the twilight soundtrack rocks :D
hmhh.
i got progress reports today, Parenting A, Gym A, Spanish B, World history B.
almost A thou.
a mi no me gusta la colegia.
haha.
a mi me gusta la semana.
whoot.
weekend. im happy :3
im just writing random, useless shit on here.
haha.


tremble for my beloved.
by collective soul :]

meow.

wheee
its friday :3
joy over the world.
except i have to do some stupid line design over the weekend.
blech.
screw projects. haha.
and i finally got my copy of twilight back, yay.
:3
i wanted to read it so bad ;-;
and now i can. whoot.
i'll probably take it with me to germany too.
heh.

yesterday my brother told me i should go to a psychiatrist x]
because i have some serious anxiety when im alone at home.
cold sweat, shivering, imagening shit, tired.
small panich attacks and stuff like that.
i think its called Generalized anxiety disorder. I haven't been diagnosed with it, but i did some research.
he was like 'thats anxiety, maybe you should see a psychiatrist, seriously. that stuff can get really bad of not treated. i learned that in psychiatry last year.'
or some class.
hmmm.
might not be such a bad idea.
i mean, it annoys me ALOT always being so terrified when im alone at home.
i always lock myself in my room, and hardly leave my room, i prolly wouldnt leave it at all if i didnt have to go to the bathroom once or twice.
oh well.
i'll see.



i'm excited for germany :3
yay.
i can see my familia.
makes me happy.
and christmas.
christmas in germany is AMAZING :D
i LOVE it.
all the food, and the drinks and the christmas shops and stuff
>.<
its wicked awesome.


awww.
now i have a hiccups
;-;.
sad.
rofl XD

YOU

DISGUST ME.
YOU DISPICAPLE PIECE OF FLESH.
PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE AND TAKE YOUR SHIT WITH YOU.
AND STOP PUTTING YOUR NOSE INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS.
NO.
YOURE NOT ALL THAT FUNNY.
YOURE NOT ALL THAT PRETTY, OR COOL.
AND JUST BECAUSE ARE IN THE 'COOL' CROWD DOES NOT MEAN
YOU ARE 'THE SHIT'
BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO GET A KICK OUT OF MAKING FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE
ARE NOTHING MORE THAN LITERAL 'SHIT'. OKAY?
DONT MAKE FUN OF ME, OR MY FRIENDS ANYMORE.
BECAUSE INSTEAD OF MAKING US WEAKER, YOU MAKE ME STRONGER.
MAKE ME WANT TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL SO MUCH MORE, SO THAT, AFTER I'VE REACHED THE TOP OF THE ICEBERG I CAN COME BACK TO YOU.
STAND FACE-TO-FACE WITH YOU AND SPIT IN YOUR FACE.
'I'VE ACHIEVED EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. WHAT ABOUT YOU? NOTHING.WHO IS THE LOOSER NOW?'
AND TAKE YOUR STUPID-ASS BOYFRIEND WITH YOU.
WHO HAS NOTHING EBTTER TO DO THEN TO MAKE SEX NOISES WHEN HE THINKS ITS 'FUNNY.'
REALLY.
ITS NOT. JUST STOP ALRIGHT?
PLEASE ACT LIKE A MATURE PERSON, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT IN KINDERGARDEN ANYMORE.
IF YOU DONT LIKE SOMEBODY, FINE, YOU HAVE EVRERYRIGHT TO.
BUT DO NOT PUT THEM DOWN BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE HOW THEY ARE.
BECAUSE
THAT MAKES YOU A MUCH MORE WORTHLESS THING.
WHO HAS A HEART OF ICE AND IS INCREDIBLY CRUEL.


I DISPITE PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
YOU MAKE ME SICK.