hmmmhhhh

i've noticed that my 'titles' in my blogs never actually make sense, theyre mostly just some random letters or 'hmh' or 'omg' or 'ouch' or whatever. oh well. that just shows my creativity.
or lack there of.



Do you dream, that the world will know your name . So tell me your name And do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?


I'm tired. and its sunday. i cant wait for this week to be over.
To go to germany.
and get away from here for two weeks. I dont know, i just feel like..
leaving this place for two weeks will clear things up.
because it all seems kind of foggy just now.
or i need to spread my wings a little.


I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside, said I wanna feelI wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm aliveJust to know I'm alive


and then.
another semester.
other people.
another beginning.
i'm glad i'll have classes with completely differnet people.
thats what i like about a big school, you hardly have a class with the same people.
new people, different, interesting people.
:] But thats also what i dislike, because yoyu have to start to make friends again.
People you know you can ask to be your partner when you have a partner assignment wont be there.
but... itll be okay.


I wanna live, just to see the day, when we all get alongI wanna scream, scream my song outloud For everyone to hear Do you believe, in the day that you were born, Tell me do you believe.


im going to go get ready to see a movie with my friend.
or we'll just walk around, even though all the stores are closed.
i miss my friends. the ones i hardly hang out with anymore..
it feels like im loosing them..
and that makes me sad.


And do you know That everyday is a first, For the rest of your life,And ohh.

:]

i saw will smith yesterday.
super exciting.
he was standing like 3 feet away from me.
stupid asian kid was in the way.
and and.
now my calfs are sore.
from always standing on my tip toes.
for like two hours.
but seeing him made me happy :3
yay.
go will smith.

hmhh.
i love this song. eyes on fire by blue foundation.
yeah thats right, the twilight soundtrack rocks :D
hmhh.
i got progress reports today, Parenting A, Gym A, Spanish B, World history B.
almost A thou.
a mi no me gusta la colegia.
haha.
a mi me gusta la semana.
whoot.
weekend. im happy :3
im just writing random, useless shit on here.
haha.


tremble for my beloved.
by collective soul :]

meow.

wheee
its friday :3
joy over the world.
except i have to do some stupid line design over the weekend.
blech.
screw projects. haha.
and i finally got my copy of twilight back, yay.
:3
i wanted to read it so bad ;-;
and now i can. whoot.
i'll probably take it with me to germany too.
heh.

yesterday my brother told me i should go to a psychiatrist x]
because i have some serious anxiety when im alone at home.
cold sweat, shivering, imagening shit, tired.
small panich attacks and stuff like that.
i think its called Generalized anxiety disorder. I haven't been diagnosed with it, but i did some research.
he was like 'thats anxiety, maybe you should see a psychiatrist, seriously. that stuff can get really bad of not treated. i learned that in psychiatry last year.'
or some class.
hmmm.
might not be such a bad idea.
i mean, it annoys me ALOT always being so terrified when im alone at home.
i always lock myself in my room, and hardly leave my room, i prolly wouldnt leave it at all if i didnt have to go to the bathroom once or twice.
oh well.
i'll see.



i'm excited for germany :3
yay.
i can see my familia.
makes me happy.
and christmas.
christmas in germany is AMAZING :D
i LOVE it.
all the food, and the drinks and the christmas shops and stuff
>.<
its wicked awesome.


awww.
now i have a hiccups
;-;.
sad.
rofl XD

YOU

DISGUST ME.
YOU DISPICAPLE PIECE OF FLESH.
PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE AND TAKE YOUR SHIT WITH YOU.
AND STOP PUTTING YOUR NOSE INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS.
NO.
YOURE NOT ALL THAT FUNNY.
YOURE NOT ALL THAT PRETTY, OR COOL.
AND JUST BECAUSE ARE IN THE 'COOL' CROWD DOES NOT MEAN
YOU ARE 'THE SHIT'
BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO GET A KICK OUT OF MAKING FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE
ARE NOTHING MORE THAN LITERAL 'SHIT'. OKAY?
DONT MAKE FUN OF ME, OR MY FRIENDS ANYMORE.
BECAUSE INSTEAD OF MAKING US WEAKER, YOU MAKE ME STRONGER.
MAKE ME WANT TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL SO MUCH MORE, SO THAT, AFTER I'VE REACHED THE TOP OF THE ICEBERG I CAN COME BACK TO YOU.
STAND FACE-TO-FACE WITH YOU AND SPIT IN YOUR FACE.
'I'VE ACHIEVED EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. WHAT ABOUT YOU? NOTHING.WHO IS THE LOOSER NOW?'
AND TAKE YOUR STUPID-ASS BOYFRIEND WITH YOU.
WHO HAS NOTHING EBTTER TO DO THEN TO MAKE SEX NOISES WHEN HE THINKS ITS 'FUNNY.'
REALLY.
ITS NOT. JUST STOP ALRIGHT?
PLEASE ACT LIKE A MATURE PERSON, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT IN KINDERGARDEN ANYMORE.
IF YOU DONT LIKE SOMEBODY, FINE, YOU HAVE EVRERYRIGHT TO.
BUT DO NOT PUT THEM DOWN BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE HOW THEY ARE.
BECAUSE
THAT MAKES YOU A MUCH MORE WORTHLESS THING.
WHO HAS A HEART OF ICE AND IS INCREDIBLY CRUEL.


I DISPITE PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
YOU MAKE ME SICK.

ouch

my eye hurts. its dry, probably because i just scraped a ton of eyeliner of . XD
experiementing with eyeliner, hmh, fun. though at the end i looked like a damn vampire.
cleopatra eyeliner, red lipstick and im already white as hell. haha. fun.
speaking of makeup, getting ready and stuff.....

i was talking to my friend about how guys can get up in the morning, take a shower, but some gel into their hair, get dressed and are ready to go.
and we?
have to shower, dry our hair, comb it, maybe put some product in our hair so it wont be frizzy as hell, pick out an outfit, put on makeup, earrings etc. AND THEN finally are ready to go.
all of this to 'look good'
and then you still dont get noticed.
great.
there goes the effort.
it really annoys me.
because at the end of the day i look in the mirror and look like a pile of shit sooo..
why bother?

i just.
why are those girls who are blonde, blue eyed, have like a fucking mole on their face, petite and shit so popular?
all those girls, theyre all the same.
almost every girl here looks the same.
skinny,petite,wear AE HCO and AF, have the same damn straight hair that almost reaches their ass.
and the guys ALWAYS go for that.
why?? wanna play it safe?
"lets not go for the girl who doesnt look like all of them.
or is at least a little different. lets stick to the good ol' barbie doll, because shes pretty and we look good together."
hm?
thats what they think?
blah,blah,blah.

i dont wanna sound bitchy, or like im pissed because 'i dont get any attention'
i dont want a whole bunch of people after me.
i really dont.
but at least once in a while i want a guy look at me, because i am me.
because i am different.
because my hair is curly and strawberry blonde.
because my eyes are green and different.
because i actually have curves and my legs are no sticks.
because i dont wear hollister and abercrombie and fitch because i DONT FIT INTO THEM. and i can say it, because its the truth. I DONT FIT INTO ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH, AND HOLLISTER BECAUSE I AM NOT A SIZE NEGATIVE 2.
because i dont walk down the hallways laughing loud, purposfully so i get
my damn attention for that day
because i DONT look like i popped out of a magazine.
because i am me.

because i am denise.
who is also a person, whos maybe not the most beautiful, attracktive and gorgeous girl on earth. but a girl who has a heart, thats beating and that can feel.


rant is over.
i guess.
-sigh-