ouch

my eye hurts. its dry, probably because i just scraped a ton of eyeliner of . XD
experiementing with eyeliner, hmh, fun. though at the end i looked like a damn vampire.
cleopatra eyeliner, red lipstick and im already white as hell. haha. fun.
speaking of makeup, getting ready and stuff.....

i was talking to my friend about how guys can get up in the morning, take a shower, but some gel into their hair, get dressed and are ready to go.
and we?
have to shower, dry our hair, comb it, maybe put some product in our hair so it wont be frizzy as hell, pick out an outfit, put on makeup, earrings etc. AND THEN finally are ready to go.
all of this to 'look good'
and then you still dont get noticed.
great.
there goes the effort.
it really annoys me.
because at the end of the day i look in the mirror and look like a pile of shit sooo..
why bother?

i just.
why are those girls who are blonde, blue eyed, have like a fucking mole on their face, petite and shit so popular?
all those girls, theyre all the same.
almost every girl here looks the same.
skinny,petite,wear AE HCO and AF, have the same damn straight hair that almost reaches their ass.
and the guys ALWAYS go for that.
why?? wanna play it safe?
"lets not go for the girl who doesnt look like all of them.
or is at least a little different. lets stick to the good ol' barbie doll, because shes pretty and we look good together."
hm?
thats what they think?
blah,blah,blah.

i dont wanna sound bitchy, or like im pissed because 'i dont get any attention'
i dont want a whole bunch of people after me.
i really dont.
but at least once in a while i want a guy look at me, because i am me.
because i am different.
because my hair is curly and strawberry blonde.
because my eyes are green and different.
because i actually have curves and my legs are no sticks.
because i dont wear hollister and abercrombie and fitch because i DONT FIT INTO THEM. and i can say it, because its the truth. I DONT FIT INTO ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH, AND HOLLISTER BECAUSE I AM NOT A SIZE NEGATIVE 2.
because i dont walk down the hallways laughing loud, purposfully so i get
my damn attention for that day
because i DONT look like i popped out of a magazine.
because i am me.

because i am denise.
who is also a person, whos maybe not the most beautiful, attracktive and gorgeous girl on earth. but a girl who has a heart, thats beating and that can feel.


rant is over.
i guess.
-sigh-